I is a new blogger here, Mooria. Pleased to meet you all.

We look looks gets very jealous of the yumanses’ iPhoones and iPods. You see, they requires magnets.

Descuse me. Bes right back.

OK, is back.

That was the GRR. She says they isn’t magnets, they is electro-magnetic fields. They takes the electrics in the yumanses’ skin an uses them to make the choosey wheel go round and round until you have found the album you is looking for. I says they has to be magnets, or how else would they get the choosey wheel to follow them? The GRR is an editor, she can’t be spected to know about everything. Besides, if they was fields wouldn’t the grass get stuck in the iPhoone?

The problem is, look looks doesn’t have magnets, they has fluff. Fluff isn’t sticky (unless you has stuck self-adhesive felt to your face for a makeshift pirate eyepatch, Gizmoo I is looking at you), so the choosey wheel doesn’t stick to us. We can’t even press the numbers on the iPhoone because they isn’t touch screen or buttons, they is all MAGNETS-BASED. Is we just not cut out for the 21th Century? Yumanses has it so easy. They just swishes theys fingers around the choosey wheel, and hey presto as if by magnets, out comes the music. That hardly seems f…

Descuse me. Bes right back again.

The GRR says that my understanding of the technologoo is such that it might as well be magic, which splains everything. I doesn’t know what that supposed to mean.

OK where were I?

Anyway, I is leading a R&D team, that am a relaxing and dossing about team, to look into look look magnets solutions. The GRR says is fine as longs I doesn’t put the magnets near the hard drives. Anyone know what she is on about?

So I may not have say on this blog blog, but me an Harmonoo am kind o a thing. I knows eet am not normoo for yumans to go out with peopoos whoo am four times them’s age (she am twenty, an I is five today), but we has a differoo progressioo o maturitoo. If eet am meant to be, eet am meant to be.

I likes bein five. But when is I goin to get wrinkoos so peopoos takes me seriousloo as a philosophoo???

Hewwo!

What ickUw forgot to teww you in hish washt posht ish that he had a tight deadwine for weading hish book; he had to be finished by today if he wanted to shay he’d wead a book by the time he wash ten.

ickUw’sh birfday ish in vewwy good company; Giwwiam and I are both gettin owder today. I am a venewabwe wook wook, at twenty yeawsh owd. It’sh actuawwy a vewwy shignificant day in wook wook hishtowy, wiv me being twenty, Giwwiam at five, and ickUw at ten. That’sh if you count in powersh of ten, which we do. Metwic wook wooksh for the win!

That’sh one of the thingsh I do to keep up wiv the youngshtewsh of today–internet shwang. Sho exshpect to shee wowbearsh any day now. I wook at youtube and evewyfing. The yumansh are shaying I’m wike a shewtered wewigioush schoowgiwl, and that’sh why I’ve gone nutsh now and wike gutsh and evewyfing, but I fink it’sh a natuwaw pwogweshion for a cawe beaw.

I decideed what I has to read a book befoo I is ten. Fing is, I decideed that only a coupoo o monfs agoo, an the book I wanteed to read were Cryptonomicon. Eet am over 9000! I means, over 900 pagees long. An eet am about codin an cryptologoo an Woo Woo II, so quite dense. An I wanteed to prove what I isn’t dense, an can read books, like my broo Manwoo who can not only read books but write them too!

On Monday, I finish readin eet! Now I is a proper persoo!

An I has to stop bloggin now becoo the GRR whose ooves I is usin have had martini.

I knows they says what peopoos am moo attracteeve when thems facees am symmetricoo, but I not beyeaves eet. At least, eet am definiteloo not troo when eet come to look looks.

Just take a look at me:

I has a line drew down me ‘middoo’ seam. Me nostroos am space wonkiloo. Me beads am space wonkiloo. One ear an ossicone am slicked back, an the othoo sticks out like, “NEYO!”

But, when yoo gets down to eet, is I not cute?

An there we has eet, fellow wonk-maestroos: remember yoo is cute, an yoo will be quite happy livin wiv wonk.

Meh-meh-meh meh meh meh Meh-meh. Meh meh meh meh meh meh-meh meh meh “meeehhh”, meh meh meh-meh, meh Meh-meh meh meh Meh-meh-meh-meh: meh Meh meh meh Meh Meh, meh meh meh meh-meh meh meh-meh-meh meh. Meh meh meh meh-meh meh!

You knows how when you has HD you watches anythin on the telly just becoo eet look so sharp? Well first thing Mr. Eaf do were turn eet on Animoo Planeet HD an watch a mole eatin a worm! Now I is a mole moo but I is tellin yoo, I not eats worms no mattoo how much nobody love me evvybody hate me, nochsirree.

Mr. Eaf say HD stand foo “Highly Disgustin”.

Apparentloo in Bostoo, they coos each othoo mush like evvybody else coos each othoo dude. How cool am that?

Oops! I thought I posteed this like a month agoo when I wrote eet bonneet. Oh well, here eet am.

We had to have a boo. The juice were the finoo stroo, but ickUl an Manwoo were grubby ooso. They was moo grey than oroo; eet were a tragedoo!

So we piled intoo a big mixin boo with detergoo, an got clean once moo. But then we was soggmaestros an had to stand aroo in the boo dryin off. Couldn’t go anywheres! Mr Eaf say we looked like a band photo standin there lookin in differoo directioo oo artisteec, so Iskroo lighteed the pictoo, an Grr took eet an photoshop eet into an alboo covoo.

Why do the Grr have to spill juice on hers desk at woo? Ooso, why do her ooways have to do eet on Wednesdoo? Becoo we Broos has an ordoo what we goes to woo with her, an my day am Wednesdoo, and two in a roo have had the Grr spillin juice on me beans! Mr. Eaf take one sniff an goes “peachees! ugh!” an runs awoo. At least me beans isn’t sticky.

We is goin to get her a sippy cup for Chreesmoos.