When I wash a wittwe beah, the mosht wuvved wook wook in our houshe–wuvved in the shenshe of “fur wuvved off”–wash Shqueegee. He would often be sheen wocketing acwossh the wivving woom yewwing, “I am naaht a pwojectiwe!” Unfortunatewy for wook wook kind, hish pweash went unheard–or, at weasht, unwishtened to. Perhapsh they would have been more compwehenshibwe if he washn’t airborne at the time.

I shay unfortunatewey, becaushe I have weshentwy uncovered a shocking form of wook wook abushe that may be wewated to thish exshpewienshe. Mr. Eaf and Mr. Wawwy have been pwaying Fawwout 3, and in it you can get a weapon cawwed the Wock-It Wauncher, which shootsh the diffewent junk you can find wying about the Washtewand. And what can you find wying awound in copioush amountsh? Why, beahsh, of courshe.

Sho the upshot of aww that wash that Mr. Eaf wash wunning awound the Washtewand decapitating shuper mutantsh with teddy bearsh to the fashe! How howwifying! How bwutaw! How…

Oh, who am I kidding? It wash coow. I wove that my bwevwen got to be Wighteoush Beahs of Jushtishe!