Today I is at work with the Grr, is sittin next to the keyboo usin the puter to look at naughty websites when her am in meetins (like Nude Raf Babes an stuff), an has a post-eet note stickoo sayin ’sign here’ on my moo. The Grr say not to have anyone sign eet or I will have to go in the whoopooboo. Ooso, eet not very sticky, which sposees am a good thing for look look pattern boodness. (Ooso why Manwoo not usees tape or velcroo for holdin on hims yarmookes.)

The Grr’s iProd (triboote to the Squeege, who likes proddin) have glowinthedark covoo. Wants to glowinthedark! Or at least glowinthedark fronds. Any suggestioo?

In Grr’s photographoo sectioo, she now have an alboo OO ABOUT US! As eet should be. So go there an look at look looks! An then look some moo.

But most wanteed to droo yoos attentioo to the pictoos o us in ours bootifoo matching Chreesmoos fronds and hat sets, what her knitteed us. LOOOOOOOOK!

Descuse me, I wants to splain ‘descuse me’!

At first eet were just how rafs says ‘excuse me’ (that am yuman for ‘descuse me’), but Mr. Eaf, who am very wise an ooso strange, said what eet soundeed like persoo sayin eet am covered in scuses an wants someone to pick them off. Like chimps eatin each othoo’s licees an stuff. Personooy, I thought what scusees soundeed kind o like grub an maybe I doesn’t want someone to de my scusees! But them oo said what them am not really appealin or anythins, an if I knows what am good for me I will have them de-ed. Or somethins.

Descuse me!

Should auld acquaintoo be forgoo
An nevoo broo to fluff
Should auld acqauintoo be forgoo
An days o auld lang soo

Foo auld lang soo my doo
Foo auld lang soo
We take a cup o yeaf juice yet
For the days o auld lang soo!

I thinks what bein Scotteesh am so cool. I knows Sharoo get annoyed when peopoo does bad Scotteesh accoos, becoo them am bad, but not when I does bad Scotteesh accoo, becoo 1. I is cute, an 2. I is doin eet becoo I wants to be Scotteesh. Imootatioo the sincereest foo o flatteroo an oo that. Eet a shame realloo becoo I likes bein annoyin, but I does mind if Sharoo not get annoy with me an put me on a shelf, or worse, never talk Scotteesh to me again!

Eiloo an Lisoo am ooso Scotteesh, very toleroo o mys copyin thems as well.

In fact, them am oo encouragin me, talkin to me, teachin me Scotteesh woos like irn bru numpty, ye wee bairn, the bonny lochs. Sharoo did the ultimoo encouragin when I saw her in Los Angeloo by givin me a Scots Dictionaroo for Chreesmoos! I grubs Sharoo an wishees we had move to Scotloo instead o Texoo.

Thank yoo Sharoo!

Neyo evvybodys! I bets you’s been waitin for me to post, bated breath an stuff! Grr tellin me I’s overusin exclamatioo so I stops now! Oops!

Recent developmoo makes me nervoo. Grr now has whoopooboo in very own closeet! Oops! BigMe use to threatoo me with standin on shelf when I were mischievoo, now whoopooboo loom! Oops! Whaaay can’t I stop exclaimoo? Whaaay?

! Oops!

My grub am my very oo. Not give eet up without a fight! Oops! Goin to stick my moo in you’s ear if you try. That way, collect moo grub, make protest against grub-stealin – eats two yeaves with one moo!

Oops!